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Go For BrokeDAY THREE
By Staff Writer COLLINS CONNER
Sometimes it was hard to tell who mothered whom. When Linda called with the news Milt was dead, Monie's first words were: "Did you eat? Did you sleep? I'm burying one parent. I don't want to bury both of you." Linda got through the days after Milt's death by fixing her thoughts on surviving his funeral and dealing with the relatives who came to comfort her.
Soon after Milt's death, Linda visits his crypt at North/Meadowlawn Cemetery's Chapel of Memories. Milt's crypt (upper right corner) is temporarily marked by a plastic strip with his name on it.
Now what was she supposed to do? Monie would know. Ramona "Monie" Barnett had avoided her father's funeral, not wanting to face the emotional toll. But she arrived two days later, full of energy and purpose. She meant to help launch Linda's new life and help sort her finances. Over the next two weeks, the women dug through boxes of mementos and family records. They met with Milt's attorney and with his life-insurance agent. They rearranged the living room and ordered pastel throws for the brown couch and chair. They wallpapered the bathroom with blue-flowered paper. They emptied Milt's drawers and shipped his clothes to his son Ray. One evening, Linda played the video of Milt's funeral. She and Monie and Monie's two children, Kricket, 9, and Danny, 7, sat on the floor, between kids' shoes and shopping bags. Monie followed the service in a Christian Worship Book Linda kept at home. They sang with the congregation. "Is Grandpa there? In the service?" Kricket asked as the tape ended. "He's in the hearse now," Linda said. "His body is in the hearse. His soul is in heaven already, even before the service." Kricket asked: "Do you miss him, Grandma?"
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Always, in her worst crises, Linda Howe turned to her daughter. Monie helped Linda with her therapy when she got multiple sclerosis. Monie was her ally when she was stung by Milt's criticism, her cheerleader when she was worn out from his illness.
